Removing One Song From Every TOOL Album

We’re playing that “gun to your head” game again! Choosing one song to sacrifice from each album from a band’s discography. This time, it’s alt-metal cult leaders Tool.

Straight-up interludes are exempt from this list, so we’re only considering longer Tool songs with lyrics. Which songs will be left on the cutting room floor? Let’s find out!

“Throw that Bob Marley wannabe motherfucker outta here!” With only six songs on Tool‘s debut EP (minus the hidden “Gaping Lotus Experience”) there’s not much fat to trim. There’s no sacrificing the title track, the forbearing “Sweat” or the wildly underrated “Hush.” “Cold and Ugly” is a good song, but its main riff isn’t as good as “Jerk-Off,” which ultimately brings the axe down for this list.

Not a difficult choice here. The first half of Undertow is completely unfuckwithable, featuring classics like “Intolerance,” “Sober” and “Prison Sex.” Even lesser-celebrated tracks like “4°” and “Flood” are absolutely incredible. “Disgustipated” is basically half interlude / half song, never quite committing to a big hook or chorus. The crickets are soothing as fuck though.

Every list needs a hot take — this one is ours. Ænima is a godlike album… 10 out of 10 with no weak songs, just era-defining perfection. So taking the album’s interludes out of the equation, what song do you sacrifice if you’ve got a gun to your head? “Eulogy” or “Third Eye?” Absolutely not. “Pushit?” “H.?” NO! Many would choose “jimmy,” but it’s just too dark, too personal. “Hooker With a Penis” will always be a favorite, but it’s really the story behind the song that makes it memorable. Because it’s the most straightforward track on the album, it’s gotta be jettisoned. 

Once again, with instrumentals and interludes taken out of the equation, the question of Lateralus comes down to “Disposition,” as it’s basically half interlude / half song. There’s not even a real argument for getting rid of anything earlier in the record, nor the epic “Reflection.” “Disposition” still rules… its spiritual drumming and guitar work is incredibly soothing, as is Maynard Keenan‘s mantra-esque “Watch the weather change.” 

Damn, we’re really picking on the hippy-dippy, meditative stuff. But what else are you gonna cut out if you’ve got a gun to your head? It’s impossible to get rid of “Vicarious” or “Jambi”… “The Pot,” “Rosetta Stoned” or the “Wings” duology. Ain’t ditching the gorgeous “Right in Two” either. Sorry, “Intension.” 

Finally another tough call! With just six full-fledged songs on Fear Inoculum (all of which are over 10 minutes in length) you’ve gotta sacrifice a giant chunk of Tool‘s 2019 in order to play this game. First off, there’s no ditching the album’s ultimate standout, “Pneuma,” or the most epic shred-fest of Tool‘s career with “7empest.” Ultimately, with “Culling Voices” taking nearly seven minutes to kick in, and the payoff not quite touching the other tracks on Fear Inoculum, it’s the song that’s gotta go. No worries… the album would still be 70 minutes long.